Let's see, I left off by talking about my horrible experience with Quill- now let's fast forward shall we?
I talked about how I have met some very interesting guys along the way. Some of which were more memorable than others. One in particular I happen to meet while I was engaged to Quill (I won't reveal his name simply because for 1. I'm sure someone here knows him or knows of him and 2. He is my dearest best friend in SL and RL) We met actually through a mutual best friend of ours. He was visiting a club that she and I both frequented, actually she worked there. He was sitting at one of the dancers tables and I'm not sure if he was in IM or if he was just chilling out. Anyway, eventually he stood up and came over to dance with the two of us. Well, I finally got a really good look at him and well all I can say is OMG! That was my first reaction. The man was drop dead gorgeous. Seriously! Well I IM'd our friend about him saying, "Hey who is the guy dancing with us? He is hot!" She laughed and said he was her best friend. Well, I immediately got embarrassed and told her so and she was like, -oh he loves the attention and yes he is hot-. Eventually he IM'd me and we BS'd around and he then added me to his friends' list After that day we didn't IM each other because for one I was involved with Quill although at the point of meeting him I hadn't heard from Quill in a few days. Also, although there was an attraction, we respected our mutual friendship with our girl Carrie, so that stopped anything from happening as well.
Fast forward to April. One night I saw him come online and I was thinking, what the hell. I'll say to him and see if he remembers me. Well HE DID! He said he had just finished DJ'ing an event and would have love for me to have been there to check him out. I promised the next time he did DJ I'd be there. So he invitied me over to this empty area in the sky with this two other friends and we hung out. I still remember I was in awe of how incredibly gorgeous he was. And I'm sure by the time I had met him, several girls had already told him so LOL! From that day, we were pretty much inseparable. I had told him about Quill and how I had moved on and into a new house, and how I needeed a change in my look. I mean I was pleased, but every time I saw myself, it was a constant reminder of Quill so I asked for his help and he helped me change into the new person that I am right now. New look, new way of thinking (although it took a while, because I seriously carried Quill with me for a long time), new Ryder Mureaux. In the meantime, I was falling very deeply for him. I just knew he felt the same as I did. We talked ALOT. We hung out nearly everyday. He was everything I wanted rolled up in a very sexy package... until about the beginning of June I noticed our time together began to wane and I began to feel like he was no longer interested. Trust me, we were friends first and foremost, but it was more for me than it was for him.
I started seeing someone else briefly. Nothing important it turns out. He wanted a good time, I wanted more, end of story. That happened during this time of 'What's going on between me and this guy'. Again the first week I saw a shift was the begining of June. His feelings started to go towards somoene else. Mind you- I knew this was happening because he told me, but I let it go into one ear and out the other. He was the one I belonged to. No one else! Well, eventually he and this other girl finally admitted they were together and well... I was crushed. I cried every time I thought about them together. When I'd see them together, I became physically sick. I was an emotional wreck. I really was. The lowest point was the weekend of June 8th. Friday, June 13th was her Rez Day party that she actually invited me to. I bought her a gift and sent it to her because I couldn't face them, but he wanted me there and so did she so I decided to drop in for a sec. Well when he tp'd me to the party, I fell right down on top of them dancing. That killed me. Of all the times I had hung out with him- never once had he asked me to dance. I know that sounds so childish and petty, but I just wanted that one time of closeness with him that I never got.
Anyway, I stayed for about 2 minutes and said good bye and hurried out of there. I couldn't stay. Anyway, the next day I had to work. Yes, I am a dancer and a host at two different clubs now (The Confessional and Club Inferno. Go check 'em out!) He IM'd me and asked me what was I doing and I told him I was working. He had never seen me dance before and I knew I'd be nervous as hell with him watching me- and well he showed up. I freaked out LOL! He did tip me and I was shaking like a leaf hehehe.. but he said I was doing a great job. He stayed until it was time for his shift at work. After my shift was over I headed over to his event and we hung out and was having a great time until she showed up. At that point I lost it. I tp'd out and went home. All of that Sunday I listened to two songs that reminded me of him and cried all day. I was hurt because I had a man who claimed to love me disappear during our engagement, another one who was never around who I left Quill for and now this one guy who I had done everything in my power to show him how much he meant to me choose someone else. I couldn't handle it.
I had pretty much given up. I was leaving SL. When I joined I wanted it to be just fun, that's it. I mean SL is suppose to be fun, not heartbreaking. Yes, a lot I created because I shouldn't have fallen so hard for him, but I did and I couldn't take it back. If it wasn't for this one special woman in my life who dragged me out of the depression I was falling into, I would have left SL. She pretty much demanded me over to her castle that Sunday and made me stay with her the entire night so I wouldn't be alone. That night was a turning point for me. Things changed. A lot for the better. I can't go further without going into part three, so you must have patience LOL! It is worth it. I'll post part three in the next few days. Stay tuned.
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