Recently, I was having a whooping good time with a group of my friends.  We were all standing around, giggling, exchanging jokes, discussing our hectic days at work, and basically having an all around joyous time sharing in the good spirit of friendship and togetherness.  I, being an active participant of this "Peanut Gallery", whipped out a can of beans and started to make some hysterical farting noises.

In about 0.5 seconds, our whole group was cracking up, giggling until our stomachs hurt, and truly sharing a bonding moment.  When out of the blue, a newcomer to the group mentioned that such farting noises were not "girlie" and "inappropriate" for our present surroundings.  Despite this comment, from someone who obviously was NOT wearing her sense of humor hat that day, I kept on farting and laughing with my friends.  After all, everyone farts and although it can be quite embarassing in certain situations, among friends it ought to be something to be laughed at and celebrated.  We weren't at a formal event,  nor were we interrupting anyone's award ceremony, it was just an informal gathering of friends.

I mean, who doesn't pass gas anyways?  Are you telling me that you don't?  Yes, this is of serious concern here!  You know what happened to the dude that refused to fart on the show South Park?  He spontaneously combusted!

The dictionary defines 'farting' as :   "a reflex that expels intestinal gas through the anus"

Yes, farting is just that, a 'reflex.'  Thus, it is in most cases, something you do not choose to do consciously, but that your body does in order to exhale gaseous wastes that could possibly, if left to remain in your intestinal tract, cause severe bloating, cramping, pains, and possible further medical complications such as impacted gaseous waste - which could possibly ugh, lead to your untimely demise.  

Now it's not like I was farting in someone's general direction or on someone's body.  I was farting into vacant space.  No one was harmed during my vapor fest, and everyone seemed to be maintaining consciousness, thus no harm, no foul.  (ok well scratch the no foul part).

 Which leads me to this...if you can't laugh at someone farting, then what do you laugh at? Farting is one of the most elemental body functions.  Everyone does it, whether they choose to admit it or not.  It is an event that bonds us together as humans, and to other living creatures as well even!  Cows, dogs, cats, lizards, fish - they all fart.  What, you think all those bubbles in the sea were formed from fish mouths only?

So if farting ties us all together, brings us all closer, makes us giggle and shows us how wonderful life can be when we loosen up and relax our inhibitions, what is so darn 'inappropriate' about it?  In my opinion, not having a sense of humor is a far grevious offense than passing gas.  Not having a sense of humor is what you SHOULD be offended by.

We are exposed to all kinds of various vapors all day - oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen - but don't hear anyone complaining about them?  I mean, could you imagine if someone said to you, "Hey could you please not pass that oxygen around here? It is inappropriate and not girlie."

Then there was the issue brought by this same individual that my behavior was not 'girlie.'  You're telling me then that because I fart, that I am not 'girlie?'  Well then 'girlie' is not something I want to be anyways.  I'd rather spend my days laughing myself to bits over such nonsense things as farting and risk never being called 'girlie', then spend my days ultra-serious, not laughing, and be 'girlie.'  

Some of my female icons fart - Angelina Jolie, Marilyn Monroe, Clara Barton, Susan B Anthony, Betty Boop, Maya Angelou, Grace Kelly - guess what?  Yep, they all fart or farted in their times.  They don't or didn't make apologies for it, nor does it or did it detract from their feminine potency at all.  They knew, like most people, that farting is natural, just as burping, sneezing, and coughing are.  They are ways the body copes with toxins and the way the body releases toxins from the system. Basically, they are life preservation mechanisms.

As I reflect upon that day's events, holding my stomach which is still, at this very moment 2 days later still sore, all I can say is that people who don't know how to laugh at something so innocent and trivial probably have a rough time in life.  Because while everyone else is laughing, they are standing idly by wondering what all the giggling is about, and feeling mightly lonely that they are not included in the group comraderie.  Might as well have a labotomy, those folks don't show emotions either.

The ironic thing here is, after saying I was not 'girlie', this same individual goes on to say how she recently purchased a men's suit from a certain store.  Talk about identity issues? You are telling me I am not 'girlie', yet you are the one who just went out and bought a man's suit to wear.  Thus, we understand now why the whole issue of my gender identity was even brought up. Sounds like this individual was not feeling very 'girlie' at that time, so I guess it felt good for her to pass out an identity question card to me.  Sorry hon, but I know what gender I am, and no amount of farting is going to rob me of my gender.

So I will take my can of beans and when the urge strikes me, let out some rip roaring thunder.  Not only does it make me giggle, but it elevates my mood, and makes me a healthier and happier girl.  A girl that is not afraid to be who she is, is confident enough in herself to be the brunt of the giggles, and that feels humor is ALWAYS appropriate in most every 'girlie' situation.

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